paint

the paint stays wet
on my do it by numbers life
a portrait never finished
still changing all the time
will it ever be completed?
will it ever dry?
constantly mixing hues
in this busy life of mine

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

date rap (his spoken, mine thought)

"sorry, I'm late"
"gee, you look great"
"I brought you these flowers"
(this date may take hours)

"who do you know?"
"let's go to a show"
"eat dinner real late"
(will I every escape?)

"you need to go home?"
"can I call your cell phone?"
"can I kiss you goodnight?"
(as I run in fright!!)

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

labels

you may have lost your Stetson
you'll always have your boots
you're still wearing Wranglers
and you still like to shoot
you still love the mountains
and all of them country tunes
you may not have a Stetson
but you still have cowboy roots


maybe you don't rope and punch
there are oh so many ways
that you can be a cowboy
on just about any day
with the kindly "thank ya ma'am"
and your beat up pickup truck
"cowboy" is just a label
that label is pretty well stuck

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Life

When I look back upon my life
when I am old and grey
I’ll know I made a difference
and be remembered just that way

Remembered for the good times
Remembered for the bad
Remembered for all the twists and turns
whether we were happy or sad

And when the light is fading
and my time has come to go
It won’t be with sadness,
just an extinguishing of the glow

old ghosts

for all the ones who tried to stay
who said I tossed it all away
that wanted most to be the one
even though I was so done

the ones who mattered but didn't care
if I was gone or I was there
no messages left here on my phone
to check for later when I was home

maybe your signal was just to weak
maybe your battery started to leak
whatever reason, it matters not
if you remembered, or you forgot

all those days so long ago
in a box that I sort through
keeping all that matter most
nothing sacred from those old ghosts

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Defined

Living in a blue sky world
Beginning of the day
Time to start my morning
Things start off ok

Work is really crazy
So much to get done
I like it when I’m busy
That’s what makes it fun

Day is almost over
It went by so fast
Finish what I started
Follow up on tasks

Everything completed
Finally time to go
You are waiting for me
The high point that I know

Unwind, relax, recap our day
With a glass of wine
The best part of my blue sky world
The part that’s best defined

You are the center of my life
Your love is pure and true
Loving you is easy
And I thank God for you

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Amazing Grace

If you can see inside my soul
Can you heal me, make me whole

Can you take away the pain
Heal me with a cleansing rain

If you can see through this facade
It would be an act of god

If you can love me for who I am
Give your all and not condemn

Take me to a better place
Restore me with amazing grace

Restore with unconditional love
Like an angel from above

Heal and guide if you know how
Heal my soul and save me now

Then I’m not eternally cursed
Not afflicted, not coerced

Rescued, salvaged, then set free
All because you believed in me

Redemption

I thought redemption finally came
From prior sins and bad acts
But now I know I'm not paid up
For relief from this devil’s pact

No forgiveness, no act of contrition
No answer to my pleas
Not even begging for mercy
Contrite, on bended knees

The wounds that I have inflicted
Will keep me in this hell
And darkness will surround me
For as long as I can tell

The Safer Path

Reflection of the time I spent
Wandering this earth
No clear or true direction
That brought me here to this

Lost until I found you
No routes, no tracks, no course
Hopeless retrospection
Stumbling forward, fast

Times of indecision
Times of strife and woes
That was till I met you
And life was turned around

Now more steady, more direct
Future is more clear
Planning life together
A charted safer way

Your steady guidance saved me
And put me on the path
More safe, more sound, more protected
Sheltered, loved, secured

The wind it blows a billowy sail
Strait forward, on calm seas
Living in the moment
This romantic rhapsody

Guide me through the ocean storms
Protect and keep me safe
Leaning on your steadiness
No compass or sextant

Where were you before the storm
When my life was troubled
All I know is you’re here now
My world has turned around

Cut And Run

Let’s just leave here
All the pulls and tugs on our lives
All the endless paperwork

Let’s have an adventure
While we still can
Something to look back on

Let’s pack light
I can pick you up in New Mexico
We’ll go on the lam

Let’s head for the beach house
Old Mexico, where all the desperados used to go
In those ancient westerns

Let’s just kick back for awhile
Sun on the beach
Drink margaritas

Let’s look for sand dollars
You know how I like them
See what we can find

Let’s reconstruct our lives
We can be anything we want
Alone together

Disenfranchised from the Spanish
But who needs that headache anyway?
Bring your passport

Let’s cut and run
At least for awhile
Want to?

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Treasures

I found the things I treasured most
Were not the important things
I had tunnel vision

I treasured the tokens you offered
Gifts and trips, monetary items
Not what was important

The real treasure was your love
The way you looked at me
And touched me, pleased me

I now know the real treasure is you
No conditions, no misconceptions
Just you and your gracious heart

NO REASONS (acrostic)

No answers given
Oblivious to your plot

Removing your love
Exiting my life
Avoiding questions
Silence
One sided pain
No thoughts of me
Silence

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

the dust from yesterday

the only sound was the wind through the sage
it blew icy cold with a whistling rage
I zip my jacket but still I shiver
against the unknown and what floats downriver

I don't sleep and lay wide awake
gnawing inside are the thoughts that quake
something I don't know and can not understand
staring at the rotating blades of the fan

love is never based on what is fair
we just weren't right, our lives parallel
what I wanted before was just a fair shake
the scar remains thick from your quick escape

fortune looked down and smiled on me
faith never lost--I always believed
my dreams for tomorrow are realized today
all else left behind in the dust from yesterday

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Not You

May I have the pleasure,
just one dance with you.
Smiling I take his hand
and he leads me to the floor.

Slowly, barely moving
hips connected, legs intertwined,
holding me closely,
caressing my back, breathing me in.

And then come the whispers
subtle, urgent and soft in my ear.
And I close my eyes, thinking,
it should be you.

The Things You Left

When you left, you took it all
My heart, my soul
Everything good

You left me a few things
Tears, sadness, heartbreak
How nice of you

What do I do with what’s left?
Emptiness, sorrow, a void
The pain is too fresh

I was with you too long
To remember how to move forward,
Start again, renew

You left me with so little
Not enough to rebuild with
Nothing to rekindle

Upon reflection
I see now that your facade
Was just that, a façade

How did we last this long
When it was always about you
With little room for me

Yoyo

I have reached my limit
Patience wearing thin
You really push my buttons
Where do I begin?

Feeling like a yoyo
Pushed away and then pulled back
This is very tiring
You’re leaving too much slack

Never know just where I stand
Or what I mean to you
This needs some reassessing
You have some work to do

I will grant you one last chance
One last chance to get it right
The string on this toy is fraying
You wind your toys to tight!

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

all too soon

illusion drips from swollen sky 
thunder crashes in the night 
there’s no hope of staying dry 
I shout a prayer, there’s no replies 

poetry and visions creep 
inside my brain that tries to sleep 
shaking all of the beliefs 
nothing sacred here for me 

madness wanders to and fro 
down this unsigned, dusty road 
on my mind, this heavy load 
intuition thick with mold

my third eye that’s partially blind
ghosts that hide here in plain sight
it could all work out just fine
if I open my heart and close my mind

another dance, another tune 
another one of love’s buffoons 
the calendar marks the month of June 
it will be over all too soon 

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

fading fast

it was a short road out of Eden
a way that I knew well
and if I write my story
there's part I'll never tell

my car sped fast on winding roads
running through the gears
and with the sunroof open
wind whistles in my ears

all the things I leave behind
that don't matter now
and in my rearview mirror
I glimpse my worried brow

I never thought I'd really go
thought it would always last
looking back on memories
that now are fading fast

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Dream

When the dream came
I held my breath
With my eyes closed

A feeling of nirvana
A smile in the dark
The touch I know

Don’t want to wake
Locked in this moment
And the feelings bestowed

Stay with me dream
When the light comes
Let me keep this inner glow

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Promises Not Kept

Looking out at the pouring rain
Tends to make me blue
It only makes me lonelier
Then the first weeks without you

A streak of lightening flashes
Thunder loud and close
No one here to hold me
I thought I buried those ghosts

Close the blinds put on your shirt
The one that still smells of you
Pour a glass of your favorite wine
Maybe I’ll get through

Listening to our favorite song
The one you sang off key
How we laughed at that one
But you did it for me

Turn off the lights and go to bed
Try to get some sleep
It’s hard with my mind racing
promises you don't keep

It will rain for hours
Tomorrow dawn wet and new
I’ll wake up the same old me
A new life to construe

Doorway To My Heart

The doorway was barely open
The doorway to my heart
I thought it was shut and dead bolted

Love came and pushed it open
Barging in full force
Splintering the door, knocking the breath out of me

It filled every crevice
It devoured my soul
Engulfed my very existence

It overwhelmed me
All of my senses
Filling me with wonder and awe

It gave me a new outlook
A new perspective
Feelings I had overlooked, buried for awhile

I know now what I was lacking
What I was missing
When love was not there

It was you!

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Dancing With You

On a lazy weekend
When all the work is through
Putting on some music
Time to slow dance with you

Dancing very closely
Your arms around me tight
Moving slowly to the rhythm
Late into the night

The closeness leads to ardor
With a fervent, passionate kiss
Hands begin caressing
And we move on from this

Hearts intertwined, souls at ease
We are a perfect fit
Sated, loving and happy
Dancing leads to this

No place we"d rather be
No place we want to go
It always begins with dancing
To the candle’s glow

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Disingenuous

You seemed like all the others
On the surface that was true
Maybe a little deeper
I liked that part of you

The package you presented
Was a façade at best
As I learned more about you
you were disingenuous

The very things you do and say
an extreme contradiction
To the way you really are
You, my friend, are purely fiction!

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

trespasser

I walk, head down, careful footing as I
study the terrain, the way the shadow
from the mountains cover the valley floor

the dry crevices, marked with
wildlife tracks, deep and desiccated
no monsoon to wash them away

no relief, no rain to fill these
empty washes, to water this
wilderness that lies dry, parched

the cloudless sky above hides nothing
except for the desert creatures
absent in the heat of the day

as I retrace my path, I step around a gila monster
sunning himself on a rock, his rock
reminding me where I am

I am a trespasser; this is all their’s
and their tracks and presence remind me
step carefully, move slowly, retreat

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Profound

I might have finally done it
Taken on too much
But I don't think so

You are an enigma at best
We play at this with an intensity
That ignites passion

Sharp wits and minds
Evenly matched
Swords drawn, stance taken

You are a worthy opponent
The challenge is on
Winner takes all!

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.