Saturday, December 7, 2019

no getting past

there is no getting past...
the way that I felt
the heart that you left
the shadow that played
from all of those days
the black and white still
from when you were here

there is no getting past...
what was left in the rain
the stuff that remains
here deep inside
what I couldn't hide
when you drove away
that one summer day

there is no getting past...
a song left unsung
a dance left undone
the swish on the rim
that faulters but goes in
there is no getting past
what does not last
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Friday, December 6, 2019

you didn't say

you didn't say you loved me
wouldn't spread yourself that thin
gave me passion with none of the love
closed that door couldn't let me in

you didn't say you needed me
as I spilled my hopes and dreams
told me yours without listening
a missing piece in the scheme of things

you didn't say that you would stay
longer than the star filled nights
till the end of the song when the dance is done
until the sun breaks cloud filled skies

you didn't say you loved me
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start to finish

I can feel the distance
we are close and then we're not
you're packing up the reasons
there is one thing you forgot
the miles grow, the seasons change
we tried it one more time
you didn't feel the difference
so you changed your mind

violins didn't make music
all the strings are broke
I tried to sing you my song
made up of stanzas of hope
I can see the barren ground
as it rises to meet my heart
now I can see your back, because
we used up all of our starts

a lingering kiss, one last time
a hug for what couldn't be
you pick up your belongings
one last goodbye to me
the taxi blows the horn again
love leaves now diminished
the ground was never fertile
from the our start to our finish
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

I can't save your life

don't look to me to save your life
I'm treading water trying to salvage mine
I can offer hope but not redemption
I can see you through with premonition
but I can't save your life
and I know you can't save mine

we can build a bridge with understanding
pay the piper dues withstanding
while you ponder what will be
I sweep away the old debris
but I can't save your life
and I know you can't save mine

we can forget the past--walk away as friends
meeting for coffee every now and again
laugh and talk about the old times
leaving all the forgiven crimes
but I can't save your life
and I know you can't save mine

yes, I know you can't save mine
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static

I've pushed through the whys and the why nots
buried the haves and the have nots
wandered and wondered
why there's not order
in this buzzing mind

I hear the white noise late at night
can't answer the questions that cause this hiss
like the static an antenna creates
unresolved, inside it all lays

tell me how did you rid it all?
eliminate the buzz and all of its fuzz
this constant humming, incessant drumming
that plagues my days and nights
this white noise that won't go away
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Tuesday, December 3, 2019

restless hearts

somewhere West
between asphalt and azure
nestled in a valley verdant
shadowed by mountains and mesquite
saguaro standing...guarding it all
a restless heart dreams

somewhere East
between asphalt and architecture
nestled in a suburb and increasing smog
shadowed by oak and evergreen
rain that falls nearly everyday
a restless heart dreams

somewhere in the middle
between happiness and heartache
nestle feelings that delve and go deep
shadowed by yesterday and tomorrow
interwoven these two that dream
when restless hearts meet
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

something in black

I tried on your love
and it didn't fit
thinking if I altered
I could get it zipped

it just wasn't right
the color was wrong
when I saw our reflection
the fabric was flawed

so back on the hanger
and back on the rack
I'm shopping for color
not something in black
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Saturday, November 30, 2019

dreams

it starts out like those before
at the beach house I adore
you and I on the portico
listening to the music drone

under the Crescent's lunar light
a million stars shining oh so bright
talking, laughing and kicking back
a song plays and we begin our dance

you are holding me so close
by the sea and its repose
an urgent kiss that's long and deep
and it stirs me in my sleep

dreams are that--only dreams
made up of hopes and old feelings
they come to me when I'm asleep
thoughts of you that still lay deep
and our love not meant to be
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Friday, November 29, 2019

when

when feeling isn't enough to hold it together
when words linger unspoken on crisp air
when miles separate and distance grows
when love songs fall on a deaf heart
when your arm drops after the last dance
when time slips away with your last chance
when grace and forgiveness meet a dead end
when a heart turns cold without consideration
is there nothing else that you will do?
or will it all just go?
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score

the tether frays that once held strong
from days and nights of being alone
like a shooting star 'cross the evening sky
flashing brilliantly before it dies
blackness fills its spot

given permission you entered inside
shaking up everything I tried to hide
oxidation ruins the places we've been
the sloppy shot circles and still falls in
two points added to your score

like a train wreck with much devastation
I sift through the pieces from our gestation
salvaging nothing, not one small part
you leave nothing inside my heart
blackness fills that spot
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Thursday, November 28, 2019

pot of gold

I am sure that there are reasons
you don't love me like you could
some of them are just plain lame
some of them may be good

the many lines that you cast out
won't float upon the water
nary a fish will hit your line
but you just can't be bothered

it's all about the giving out
not about any return
like the Phoenix of long ago
eventually you crash and burn

your legs are tired and you're weary
from the mountains that you climb
you've spent it all on souvenirs
you're down to your last dime

I may not tell this story right
but at least my side gets told
while you were chasing rainbows
you passed up the pot of gold
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quenched

I could see it off in the distance
it beckoned to me, an oasis for the parched
offering honey and the sweetest wine
a promise to fill for a lifetime
the closer I get, further off it seems
a haze that dissipates in the midst
never quite able to grasp, to taste
to finally drink until I'm quenched
the vagueness, the mental imagery
disappears, eluding me
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Wednesday, November 27, 2019

lost

it was many a year ago
when time stood still
as we built dreams
added questions
subtracted faith
plunged ahead
into dark mornings
waiting for sun--
stars fade
the moon sleeps
and you and I
somehow
ceased to be

I waited for you
on my plateau
it took too long
never looking
to see where I landed
you deviate from
the path we choose
seeking easier
looking for longer
of which,
you would find,
neither
we both lost
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I do believe

I watched it all go up in smoke
the fire kindled with words you spoke
written for the world to see
blowing through the leafless trees
nothing of it came to be

wrapped in velvet and put away
with the news from yesterday
thoughts that reappear as dreams
spilling from my memory's seam
in my sleep a soundless scream

the clock ticks away the midnight hour
sleep falls away in my morning shower
I send it back where it belongs
that part of you that is long gone
while dark clouds wait for the dawn

morning coffee tastes the same
grounds in the bottom that still remain
a taste that now is bittersweet
those mornings you shared with me
nothing grows from what's skin deep
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more than I will give

past your sentries I slip in
scaling easily your walled mind
past guard dogs with paws on bones
under the eyes of a crescent moon
stealthily slipping down the hall
I falter and contemplate my next move

asleep, I find you all stretched out
a sheet protecting you from the cold
a kiss on your lips...they quiver beneath
searching for more than I will give
you do not awaken, but stir and moan
a dream you think, alas, you're wrong

assaulting your senses a sweet perfume
of yesterdays and laughing green eyes
a walk by the ocean, footsteps in sand
a tide of passion by the sea that ebbs
warm sun burning tender white skin
as your heart opens and I flow in

waking fully, you grasp for the dream
squinting in darkness you murmur my name
reaching out your hand and grabbing thin air
looking for something you felt was there
I step to the left in the shadowed room
no sounds do I make as I retrace my path
past the sentries and sleeping dogs
leaving the same way I came in
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Tuesday, November 26, 2019

margin call

the piper makes a margin call
you pay with purest silver
a Judas kiss placed on the lips
of dreams that leave you quivering

shadows stretch across the lawns
the traffic lights are red
thoughts race through a busy mind
as you downshift into dread

nothing that was promised
has come forth to fruition
going past the mountains
with all of their superstitions

on you drive past sleeping valleys
nestled in open ranges
the sun sinks low--night settles in
but the crescent moon looks strange

damn the piper and the devil's dues
the deck was always stacked
you paid out with heart and soul
and it's too late to turn back
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fool's gold

it heated your bed but not that part
where the burning questions lay
you picked it up and put it back
but never in the same place

like a moth unto a flame
you hovered to stay warm
never thinking what you gave
could do it any harm

infinite in your wisdom
playing the cards real close
a picture of a wanted man
hanging in a storefront window

pondering if the path is true
what happens if you stray
not a sign to guide you
as you travel life's highway

apparitions come in dreams
ghosts from yesterday's news
blowing like a tumbleweed
as you seek a different view

wandering and wondering
what the future holds
pondering if this thing you've found
could just be more fool's gold
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half blind

over the border
and across the line
best guess forward
as I follow behind
I travel the path
smell the roses with thorns
looking not touching
seeing red flags that warn

between blown tumbleweeds
and the spinney soul
in the depths of deception
and what used to be whole
all that remains from
where the wheel rolled
are tracks in smooth sand
from what's taken its toll

the hour grows early
the sun has not risen
the trail grows weary
as it breaks from tradition
handing down emptiness
I shake hands with what's given
it all looks so innocent
in this standard of living

arching my back
as I stretch and yawn
there in my consciousness
it seeps from the claws
inside the chambers
and this ditch of my mind
I remove my sunglasses
and I stare out half blind
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Monday, November 25, 2019

getting out

you're wakin' from the darkness
coming round to your senses
deciding to use risk management
see what all the fuss was about
the boat pushes back from shore
and you're runnin down the dock
as the gang plank is pulled back
a chance that is just missed

I see you from the deck
my hand shading my view
hair blowing in the breeze
one tear slipping from my eyes
the things we thought we wanted
like waves hitting on the shore
and I can barely see you
but I wave to you once more

while we both were searching
wading that river of doubt
it was so easy to fall into
so much harder to get out
I find the way without a compass
using the sun as a guide
and I can barely see you
as I blow a kiss goodbye
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not making sense

I let go and it all slipped away
I start all over, again and again
like a million times before
there's no getting even or settling scores
I try to make sense of the rain

like the empty picture frame
where our picture used to be
like the dreams of the kisses
with my hand upon your face
I try to make sense of what's left

was it ever as it seemed?
were you ever even here?
an apparition of love
the beat of one heart
I try to make sense of the pain
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Saturday, November 23, 2019

you love me

you love me for the one-liners
that I quote from movies and songs
you love me for my eyes of green
and my hair that's streaked with blond
you love me for the length of my legs
that you say go on and on
you love me for my tiny waist
that your hands meet around
you love that when you touch me
a fire starts to burn
you love that when I leave you
I'm never gone for long
you love me more than your luggage
and baby, that's pretty strong
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

I think I see

every now and again
when the wind is blowing just right
I hear the music playing
like it did our very first night
maybe it's just the mesquite
or the call of the nightingale
but I know I can hear it
and I think I always will

when the clouds are forming
in the morning sky
I think I see you looking
with those crystal clear blue eyes
and if I squint mine tightly
I think I catch your wink
maybe it just the sun's glare
or you're closer than I think

I can smell the raindrops
and all the flowers that bloom
I can hear the music
that I first heard with you
I can hear you singing
in that perfect pitch
I still get the feeling
that there's much more to this


no longer are there messages
that you used to text
my phone no longer rings
and this I truly miss
while you're slaying your dragons
mine won't leave me alone
you don't miss what you don't have
'cause you're not coming home

many things left incomplete
the papers are stacking up
no longer sharing coffee
you took your favorite cup
the dust settled on the floor
with all you left behind
I could see our future
but I think you were blind

I can smell the raindrops
and all the flowers that bloom
I can hear the music
that I first heard with you
I can hear you singing
in that perfect pitch
I still get the feeling
that there's much more to this

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a piece you won't forget

I didn't take you for a fool
but you've done some foolish things
as you run in and out of my life
leaving welts that sting

it's like shooting at a target
missing the dead center
when I think the door is shut
once again you'd re-enter

placating my immanent grace
as each bridge you did burn
never getting the nuances
oh, the things you'll never learn

no, I didn't take you for a fool
and I may have been a fool for love
it all dries up just like the wash
when the rain stops from above

maybe you'll be sorry
maybe there's no regrets
but way down deep inside you
lays a piece of me you won't forget
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Friday, November 22, 2019

winter


the desert mountains
peppered with snow
winter comes
with its frosty glow
a beautiful photo
remains in my mind
of saguaro standing
spines sparkle
with ice

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nature


a hawk soars high in cloudless sky
echoing, its shrilling screech
perching on a still dead limb
sitting, watching you and me

snow lays still upon the bank
protected by the acres of trees
ripples flow across the lake
from a chilling spring time breeze

casting in the stillness
your three you set free
my first rainbow not let go
but grilled that night for me

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