Friday, May 31, 2019

cyber cowboy

a cyber cowboy
watching his herd
fighting each virus
that threaten his words
your boots tap impatiently
under your desk
fenced in by your office
and the world wide web
but that's not where you mind is

a computer cowboy
a 21 inch screen
writing the programs
not living his dream
you climb in your pick-up
at the end of your day
want to shuck it all
just drive away
cause this is not where your heart is

your mind rides the range
when you're not punching keys
holding to reins
not hitting delete
your heart in the mountains
the saguaro call
the taste is sweet
and you savor it all
your time will come
your dreams will manifest
into a reality
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

more than this

the feeling that comes
a complete surprise
awakening my heart
after all this time

a breath of fresh air
passion renewed
your subtle charm
my sky again blue

tender kisses
tight caress
caring heart
much more than this

I knew you were out there
and you would find me
if I only waited
if I only believed
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Thursday, May 30, 2019

teardrops

teardrops of angels
falling gently down on me
baptizing my soul
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paint

the paint stays wet
on my do it by numbers life
a portrait never finished
still changing all the time
will it ever be completed?
will it ever dry?
constantly mixing hues
in this busy life of mine
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Wednesday, May 29, 2019

date rap (his spoken, mine thought)

"sorry, I'm late"
"gee, you look great"
"I brought you these flowers"
(this date may take hours)

"who do you know?"
"let's go to a show"
"eat dinner real late"
(will I every escape?)

"you need to go home?"
"can I call your cell phone?"
"can I kiss you goodnight?"
(as I run in fright!!)
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labels


you may have lost your Stetson
you'll always have your boots
you're still wearing Wranglers
and you still like to shoot
you still love the mountains
and all of them country tunes
you may not have a Stetson
but you still have cowboy roots


maybe you don't rope and punch
there are oh so many ways
that you can be a cowboy
on just about any day
with the kindly "thank ya ma'am"
and your beat up pickup truck
"cowboy" is just a label
that label is pretty well stuck
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Life

When I look back upon my life
when I am old and grey
I’ll know I made a difference
and be remembered just that way

Remembered for the good times
Remembered for the bad
Remembered for all the twists and turns
whether we were happy or sad

And when the light is fading
and my time has come to go
It won’t be with sadness,
just an extinguishing of the glow

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

old ghosts

for all the ones who tried to stay
who said I tossed it all away
that wanted most to be the one
even though I was so done

the ones who mattered but didn't care
if I was gone or I was there
no messages left here on my phone
to check for later when I was home

maybe your signal was just to weak
maybe your battery started to leak
whatever reason, it matters not
if you remembered, or you forgot

all those days so long ago
in a box that I sort through
keeping all that matter most
nothing sacred from those old ghosts
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Defined

Living in a blue sky world
Beginning of the day
Time to start my morning
Things start off ok

Work is really crazy
So much to get done
I like it when I’m busy
That’s what makes it fun

Day is almost over
It went by so fast
Finish what I started
Follow up on tasks

Everything completed
Finally time to go
You are waiting for me
The high point that I know

Unwind, relax, recap our day
With a glass of wine
The best part of my blue sky world
The part that’s best defined

You are the center of my life
Your love is pure and true
Loving you is easy
And I thank God for you
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Amazing Grace

If you can see inside my soul
Can you heal me, make me whole

Can you take away the pain
Heal me with a cleansing rain

If you can see through this facade
It would be an act of god

If you can love me for who I am
Give your all and not condemn

Take me to a better place
Restore me with amazing grace

Restore with unconditional love
Like an angel from above

Heal and guide if you know how
Heal my soul and save me now

Then I’m not eternally cursed
Not afflicted, not coerced

Rescued, salvaged, then set free
All because you believed in me

Monday, May 27, 2019

Redemption

I thought redemption finally came
From prior sins and bad acts
But now I know I'm not paid up
For relief from this devil’s pact

No forgiveness, no act of contrition
No answer to my pleas
Not even begging for mercy
Contrite, on bended knees

The wounds that I have inflicted
Will keep me in this hell
And darkness will surround me
For as long as I can tell

The Safer Path

Reflection of the time I spent
Wandering this earth
No clear or true direction
That brought me here to this

Lost until I found you
No routes, no tracks, no course
Hopeless retrospection
Stumbling forward, fast

Times of indecision
Times of strife and woes
That was till I met you
And life was turned around

Now more steady, more direct
Future is more clear
Planning life together
A charted safer way

Your steady guidance saved me
And put me on the path
More safe, more sound, more protected
Sheltered, loved, secured

The wind it blows a billowy sail
Strait forward, on calm seas
Living in the moment
This romantic rhapsody

Guide me through the ocean storms
Protect and keep me safe
Leaning on your steadiness
No compass or sextant

Where were you before the storm
When my life was troubled
All I know is you’re here now
My world has turned around

Cut And Run

Let’s just leave here
All the pulls and tugs on our lives
All the endless paperwork

Let’s have an adventure
While we still can
Something to look back on

Let’s pack light
I can pick you up in New Mexico
We’ll go on the lam

Let’s head for the beach house
Old Mexico, where all the desperados used to go
In those ancient westerns

Let’s just kick back for awhile
Sun on the beach
Drink margaritas

Let’s look for sand dollars
You know how I like them
See what we can find

Let’s reconstruct our lives
We can be anything we want
Alone together

Disenfranchised from the Spanish
But who needs that headache anyway?
Bring your passport

Let’s cut and run
At least for awhile
Want to?
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Saturday, May 25, 2019

Treasures

I found the things I treasured most
Were not the important things
I had tunnel vision

I treasured the tokens you offered
Gifts and trips, monetary items
Not what was important

The real treasure was your love
The way you looked at me
And touched me, pleased me

I now know the real treasure is you
No conditions, no misconceptions
Just you and your gracious heart

NO REASONS (acrostic)

No answers given
Oblivious to your plot

Removing your love
Exiting my life
Avoiding questions
Silence
One sided pain
No thoughts of me
Silence
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Friday, May 24, 2019

the dust from yesterday

the only sound was the wind through the sage
it blew icy cold with a whistling rage
I zip my jacket but still I shiver
against the unknown and what floats downriver

I don't sleep and lay wide awake
gnawing inside are the thoughts that quake
something I don't know and can not understand
staring at the rotating blades of the fan

love is never based on what is fair
we just weren't right, our lives parallel
what I wanted before was just a fair shake
the scar remains thick from your quick escape

fortune looked down and smiled on me
faith never lost--I always believed
my dreams for tomorrow are realized today
all else left behind in the dust from yesterday
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Not You

May I have the pleasure,
just one dance with you.
Smiling I take his hand
and he leads me to the floor.

Slowly, barely moving
hips connected, legs intertwined,
holding me closely,
caressing my back, breathing me in.

And then come the whispers
subtle, urgent and soft in my ear.
And I close my eyes, thinking,
it should be you.

Thursday, May 23, 2019

The Things You Left

When you left, you took it all
My heart, my soul
Everything good

You left me a few things
Tears, sadness, heartbreak
How nice of you

What do I do with what’s left?
Emptiness, sorrow, a void
The pain is too fresh

I was with you too long
To remember how to move forward,
Start again, renew

You left me with so little
Not enough to rebuild with
Nothing to rekindle

Upon reflection
I see now that your facade
Was just that, a façade

How did we last this long
When it was always about you
With little room for me

Yoyo

I have reached my limit
Patience wearing thin
You really push my buttons
Where do I begin?

Feeling like a yoyo
Pushed away and then pulled back
This is very tiring
You’re leaving too much slack

Never know just where I stand
Or what I mean to you
This needs some reassessing
You have some work to do

I will grant you one last chance
One last chance to get it right
The string on this toy is fraying
You wind your toys to tight!
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Tuesday, May 21, 2019

all too soon

illusion drips from swollen sky 
thunder crashes in the night 
there’s no hope of staying dry 
I shout a prayer, there’s no replies 

poetry and visions creep 
inside my brain that tries to sleep 
shaking all of the beliefs 
nothing sacred here for me 

madness wanders to and fro 
down this unsigned, dusty road 
on my mind, this heavy load 
intuition thick with mold

my third eye that’s partially blind
ghosts that hide here in plain sight
it could all work out just fine
if I open my heart and close my mind

another dance, another tune 
another one of love’s buffoons 
the calendar marks the month of June 
it will be over all too soon 
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fading fast

it was a short road out of Eden
a way that I knew well
and if I write my story
there's part I'll never tell

my car sped fast on winding roads
running through the gears
and with the sunroof open
wind whistles in my ears

all the things I leave behind
that don't matter now
and in my rearview mirror
I glimpse my worried brow

I never thought I'd really go
thought it would always last
looking back on memories
that now are fading fast
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Dream

When the dream came
I held my breath
With my eyes closed

A feeling of nirvana
A smile in the dark
The touch I know

Don’t want to wake
Locked in this moment
And the feelings bestowed

Stay with me dream
When the light comes
Let me keep this inner glow
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Promises Not Kept

Looking out at the pouring rain
Tends to make me blue
It only makes me lonelier
Then the first weeks without you

A streak of lightening flashes
Thunder loud and close
No one here to hold me
I thought I buried those ghosts

Close the blinds put on your shirt
The one that still smells of you
Pour a glass of your favorite wine
Maybe I’ll get through

Listening to our favorite song
The one you sang off key
How we laughed at that one
But you did it for me

Turn off the lights and go to bed
Try to get some sleep
It’s hard with my mind racing
promises you don't keep

It will rain for hours
Tomorrow dawn wet and new
I’ll wake up the same old me
A new life to construe

Monday, May 20, 2019

Doorway To My Heart

The doorway was barely open
The doorway to my heart
I thought it was shut and dead bolted

Love came and pushed it open
Barging in full force
Splintering the door, knocking the breath out of me

It filled every crevice
It devoured my soul
Engulfed my very existence

It overwhelmed me
All of my senses
Filling me with wonder and awe

It gave me a new outlook
A new perspective
Feelings I had overlooked, buried for awhile

I know now what I was lacking
What I was missing
When love was not there

It was you!
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Dancing With You

On a lazy weekend
When all the work is through
Putting on some music
Time to slow dance with you

Dancing very closely
Your arms around me tight
Moving slowly to the rhythm
Late into the night

The closeness leads to ardor
With a fervent, passionate kiss
Hands begin caressing
And we move on from this

Hearts intertwined, souls at ease
We are a perfect fit
Sated, loving and happy
Dancing leads to this

No place we"d rather be
No place we want to go
It always begins with dancing
To the candle’s glow
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Disingenuous

You seemed like all the others
On the surface that was true
Maybe a little deeper
I liked that part of you

The package you presented
Was a façade at best
As I learned more about you
you were disingenuous

The very things you do and say
an extreme contradiction
To the way you really are
You, my friend, are purely fiction!
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trespasser

I walk, head down, careful footing as I
study the terrain, the way the shadow
from the mountains cover the valley floor

the dry crevices, marked with
wildlife tracks, deep and desiccated
no monsoon to wash them away

no relief, no rain to fill these
empty washes, to water this
wilderness that lies dry, parched

the cloudless sky above hides nothing
except for the desert creatures
absent in the heat of the day

as I retrace my path, I step around a gila monster
sunning himself on a rock, his rock
reminding me where I am

I am a trespasser; this is all their’s
and their tracks and presence remind me
step carefully, move slowly, retreat
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Friday, May 17, 2019

Profound

I might have finally done it
Taken on too much
But I don't think so

You are an enigma at best
We play at this with an intensity
That ignites passion

Sharp wits and minds
Evenly matched
Swords drawn, stance taken

You are a worthy opponent
The challenge is on
Winner takes all!
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Thursday, May 16, 2019

The Angels Smiled

On the day I met you
The angels smiled
And whispered in my ear yes

They could not be wrong
Nor my mind or heart
Or the way that I feel

Cause when we’re together
The sun settles into a gentle sunset
And the moon and stars light my night

A love that still grows
Stronger each day
In every single way

I see the angels smile
Everyday, in you eyes
And in your heart

On the day I met you
The angels smiled
And whispered yes

This is for you
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direction

looking in the wrong direction
looked left when I should have looked right
always going in circles
no end to directional plight

mixed signal that are useless
stop signs everywhere
lost in the translation
of what I thought was there

no road to redemption
no highway to get to you
no sign of inspiration
no helpful roadway crew

drive until the bridges
are once more clearly marked
the end of the road is nearing
I'm on the shoulder parked

the GPS needs updated
recalculating all the time
I know it can't be trusted
to show what's yours or mine
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parallel lines

a distant place
a different time
no intersecting
of parallel lines

too much in common
drifting hearts
analogous souls
unclear starts

love that is lost
without a look
an unread chapter
in a closed book
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Wednesday, May 15, 2019

paint

in my mind, I paint
I am an artist
the picture is beautiful

the strokes true and bold
the colors vibrant
and of many hues

it is a vision
that no one sees
but me

the vision that is painted
changes with the lights
and the darks of my soul

but I am not an artist
the picture I paint
remains in my mind only
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Tranquility

There is a light that is shining
Offering all I want, need
A light I thought expended

It obliterates all of the darkness
This shroud that has encased me
Both spirit and soul

A glow born with a dream
That stayed when the sun rose
And warms me with it’s strength

As I shed this old mantle
And step into your illumination
Tranquility and love surround me
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would you have loved me?

would you have loved me
if I had less fire?
if my touch
held less desire?
if my heart
was less than true?
if my eyes were less green
or maybe blue?
my wit less sharp?
if I didn't love you?
would you have loved me?
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the trail home

a cowboy on the mountain ridge
outlined in moonlight
your face in evening shadows
hat low
protecting from the night
cool air
the breeze curling
the lapel on your vest
the dust rising from your chaps
as you spur your horse
heading down the trail
that leads you home
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Tuesday, May 14, 2019

frayed

everything changed by the light of day
all of the monsters, held at bay
one more night of sordid dreams
one more day not as it seems

broken thoughts and reverent prayers
wishing for things that were not there
pictures left in broken frames
always losing at your games

never one to pull out stops
just so once, I'd be on top
a pile of hopes now resting frayed
from all of you that slipped away
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Monday, May 13, 2019

beggars whispered plea

I need to find the place
where understanding doesn't ache
where memories no longer burn
and my soul no longer quakes

no evidence that's left
from my beggars whispered pleas
I dreamed it way too late
no escape from the debris

I still can see his face
his words still burn in me
my heart won't cease from breaking
these barbed wire encased schemes

as I turned the other cheek
I just wasn't quick enough
you'd already turned your back
you'd already called my bluff

as I drink the acrid coffee
and the evening bleeds to light
another day dawns empty
after another sleepless night
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No Doubts

It’s been quite a while
Since we started down this path
Then I had no doubts
That we could make it last

Seeking without fear
The things that I would need
The things I thought you had
To make this love succeed

The sun hides behind clouds
That’s when the shadows fall
Truth in what was here
Hidden behind your wall

The love that I once glimpsed
A virtual paradise
But dreams will come to end
With the rising of the tide
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Saturday, May 11, 2019

blogger's lament

I wrote about love
I wrote about pain
poured it out
for all to read

I wrote about passion
I wrote about warmth
on moonless nights
when I was cold

I wrote about mountains
I wrote about the sea
the monsoon rain
and lightning storms

I write it all
I write what I feel
in haiku and prose
a blogger's lament
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tarnished promises

when I left you were sleeping
miles from me in dreams
not knowing I was leaving
how perfect it all seemed

I could feel it getting smaller
this shrinking love affair
pensive in the moments
weighing what was there

tarnished promises
that never were fulfilled
my heart thats needing more
you don't get it still

indecisive minutes
between the bed and door
all the promise slips away
as I walk across the floor

my bags were always packed
I knew this day would come
how many times I tried
you never let me run

how long before you notice
that I'm no longer there
I packed it to take with me
the love that we once shared
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Friday, May 10, 2019

minutes

when instant gratification
just isn't fast enough
the sun still heats your morning
the full moon calls your bluff
the saguaro has no answers
the nightingale has been snuffed
you call upon me for wisdom
you don't have the right stuff

momma raised you better
but you go off half cocked
leaving all around you
pretty much shell-shocked
you've been running for miles
just not outside of your block
and you are always racing...
racing against the clock

in the end you loved
exactly what you picked
fate is a lonely hunter
consequence makes you sick
you're in way too deep
fog grows white and thick
the second hand keeps running
as the minutes slowly click
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Thursday, May 9, 2019

blink

a touch that was familiar
a virtual paradise
how many ways you've known me
before beginning to think twice

your voice once sang a love song
the music sweet and low
the whispers of suggestion
from not that long ago

looking back and wondering
when did it all go wrong
one minute you were with me
I blinked and you were gone

now you sing a new song
the lyrics much the same
the chords you're playing different
but you sing the same refrain

in the ebony recesses
the shadows of your night
do your thoughts divagate toward me
while she lays by your side
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earnest

you give it softly
it shines from your eyes
and from your heart
earnest feeling
earnest touch
earnest love
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Wednesday, May 8, 2019

color fades

as the color fades
on dreams of yesterday
a painting bleached by sun
realization not begun

no beginnings at the end
dreams you can't transcend
the color starts to run
on what is left undone

slowly slipping from grace
bitter, scorched aftertaste
redemption never comes
from the forgotten one

thought there was more time
'fore clouds blocked the sun's light
canvass smeared, the likeness none
untouched dreams and one left shunned
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Tuesday, May 7, 2019

pieces

your fingers cramped
and you ease your grip
just for a second
but it all starts to slip
dripping from your hand
so many grains of sand

as it falls around your boots
pieces of what was true
retrospect spread on the floor
fantasy, out the door
nothing like you planned
too many grains of sand
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latte

strong espresso starts the mix
diluted with steaming, creamy milk
caramel flavor to sweeten
fluffy foam on top
me, in drink form
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Monday, May 6, 2019

calling your name

looking at a moonless sky
darkness settling by and by
shivering in the mountain breeze
as I wish on vacant stars

reaching out but you aren't there
sensing your touch in cool night air
searching for you, but you won't be found
calling your name, calling your name

celestial stars now way up high
hollow moon in its disguise
hiding all the love I gave
dying in a cloudy grave

reaching out but you aren't there
sensing your touch in cool night air
searching for you, but you won't be found
calling your name
calling your name
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heart

we carved a heart
in an old oak tree
just the initials
for you and me
the tree still stands
the heart still there
with love that has grown
through all these
years
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Saturday, May 4, 2019

empty hollow

you reach for the grace
of the shadow you found
a mirage that swallows
the empty hollow
inside your heart

fantasy slips your grasp
as my smile fades away
and the memories left
that hold no regret
inside my heart
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melancholy wishes

my mind sifts through
these memories of you
the bad and the good
short times that we knew
sometimes happy
most times blue
melancholy wishes
that won't come true
so I pack them away
the lid still askew
finally, turning my back
on my love for you
Creative Commons License
Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Friday, May 3, 2019

lost

clouds hang low over darkened skies
weather fickle, and full of lies
just when I thought the cold would go
with thunder and lightning, down comes snow

I pull my collar up to my chin
my jacket now is much too thin
gloves are lost, my hands cold
mother nature is much too bold

where is spring, with grass so green
nothing is ever how it seems
frozen now, my heart sinks
others tell me how to think

decisions rest on icy roads
I'm not driving, this I know
where will summer find my heart?
in the light or in this dark
Creative Commons License
Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

broken wings

all thoughts that I could have said
words that now don't mean a thing
under a full moon, cloudless night
with passion it no longer brings

in the cold of winter's sky
that will soon turn into spring
as you move, your back to me 
to a future you think green

all the feelings I once felt
just a bleak one-sided thing
a bird that sits and cannot fly
helpless with her broken  wings
Creative Commons License
Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Thursday, May 2, 2019

tickle me

we lay down to take a nap
you tickle me, make me laugh
tickling leads to other things
pretty soon my spirit sings
we didn't ever go to sleep
but baby, I'm relaxed
Creative Commons License
Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

moonless beach

holding what the twilight brings
sleepless nights, empty dreams
close my eyes, visions creep
passion ebbed on moonless beach

wander, footsteps in smooth sand
head down on deserted strand
listen to the ocean speak
what I hear that leaves me weak

turn around go back to start
left alone with this full heart
no one feels this love I seek
wandering on a moonless beach
Creative Commons License
Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

a long-ago night

I should have confessed it all
the way you made me feel
when you were close

I thought you could read it
I thought you could see it
I thought you felt it too

now that time is gone
I waited much too long
a fantasy in time
the memories that remind
a dream from a long-ago night
Creative Commons License
Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License