ledger

I don't look, and I don't see
I hold it back from everybody
I figure it out, the only way I can
a narrow ledge with sharp incline
stepping over all that won't hurt
just for once, it almost works

it scratches and claws to find a way out
all the reasons that I think about
a part of me that I won't show
pushed to the back so no one knows
I hit rewind to where it all began
they don't listen or understand
but I know--but I know
what it's all about

the divinity of what's silently written
the ledger full of numbers and superstitions
like the mountains to the north with the same name
where saguaro grow and don't lay blame
a coyote howls in the dead of night
singing the phrases of its own plight
hungering for all that it longs to possess
out there in the lonely wilderness

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

fading years

I'm selling off the boxes
from all the fading years
I think they are completely dry
although once packed with tears
the prophet, there is nodding
at all here on display
no one seems to be buying
the dreams of yesterday

"is this all that you have now?
you've nothing left inside?"
if it's not there I'm keeping
the stuff held in my stride
maybe you can work this
into an intricate piece
selling it at auction
where your dollar will increase

he said "no one will buy it
it looks so beat and worn
I'm sure that you once loved it
before it was all torn"
he said "you should keep this,
and what it represents"
I thought, you are crazy
that time was not well spent

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Shambles

I thought my life was all messed up
Until I talked to you
You, my friend, have problems
And more continue to brew

Your love life is in shambles
Your credit cards are maxed
You hate coming to work each day

Owe a fortune in income tax

Not much I can do for you
While your wallowing in self pity
I could say some pithy words
Or we could leave this city

Maybe take a little trip
To try and change your mood
You know that we would have to come back
And it would probably be to soon

I think that you are on your own
There’s nothing I can do
You’ll have to climb out of this alone
You may be totally screwed

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

faceless canvas

The paint not quite dry
The strokes vivid and strong
Hues of violet and amber
A masterpiece set aside

Each color painted with longing
A portrait of all that is true
A faceless canvas of yearning
Uncompleted from hapless youth

Before the callousness sets in
A fragmentary work of art
Placed in an abandoned corner
Forgotten in life’s hurts

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

real life

in the rain I hear you call me
in the thunder I sense your fears
in the lightning I see your shadow
in the darkness I hold you near

in the stars I see your eyes
in the moon I feel your heart
in my dreams I know forever
in daylight it's just a start

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Oh Shit!

you walked in and I thought OH SHIT!
my heart pounded and did back flips
I knew I would be in the middle of this
no way around this sudden twist

that first date was pure perfection
I knew I was vying for your affection
looking back with much reflection
I know I made the right selection!

that yellow shirt with jeans and boots
we laughed and flirted, you were a hoot
you said I was smart assy too
thick as thieves we were real soon

now six years have come and gone
we're together, holding strong
you sing me all of my favorite songs
out of my dreams and into my heart

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

the stand

all I see in the distance
as I focus on it all
the last part of my resistance
stumbles now and falls
you won't meet opposition
from all the disparate strands
I'm taking my position
getting ready to make my stand

from a shrouded heart and shadowed soul
I watch as this unfolds
an unstable situation
that leaks from the usual mold
all I've seen and what I've read
ain't even the tip of the iceberg
and as I strolled down memory lane
the nightingale's all I heard

through fog of contradiction
on an ocean of salty tears
I admired the reflection
a dim light that disappears
careful always of what you say
in case reality should offend
as you sit and watch your soul decay
from the start to the bitter end

wearily I watched you
break chains to be set free
no chance at a storybook ending
not ever between you and me
strained are the limits of compassion
it's a wound that never mends
honesty was never in fashion
it wasn't in the cards my friend

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Richter

when love starts to rattle and shake 

there is really no safe place 

as your heart splits down the center 

a deep, bleeding crevice rendered 

pieces left all over the place

tears of sadness on my face 

a quake of horrific magnitude 

rocking all that's left of you 

love that is built on a fault-line 

will never stand the test of time 

7.0 scored on the Richter 

reduced to ash and cinder

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

wreckage

we mature with the wreckage

not with tears or years

the things our mind tells us

overcoming all fears

forging ever onward

brief stops on our way

that's how we move onward

and get through the days

losing the baggage

maybe keeping one tote

keeping a journal

with all of our notes

maybe some therapy

if that's what you need

to empty the sorrows

on which your heart feeds

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

lines

between rocketing dreams

and the lowest lines

so much is done

not to leave it behind

It's the dragon you feed,

the debt that comes due

was it worth the price

of ownership to you?

Hope slips away

as greed takes its place

it doesn't take long

to fall from His Grace

and when you look back

at your wreckage and ruin

you can't say that you

didn't know what was brewing

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

grace falls short

it really wouldn't have been that hard
now it's tossed like a salad with swiss chard
a bitter taste that is left behind
I think I must've been out of my mind

you, whom I gave the best of care
wreckage created with utmost flair
no over the shoulder, one last look
a very short chapter in a dusty old book

what did you think, how did it feel?
to severe it all with so much zeal
no calls, no letters, not even a text
grace falls short, then disappears

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

thanks

thanks for no calls and the missing text
I never know, when I'll hear from you next
thanks for the heartache and all of the pain
how you make me blue, whenever it rains

thanks for the nightmares, that come in my dreams
apparitions are closer than appearing to be
thanks for the memories, leaving this scar
a crescent moon that glows when it's dark

thanks for the wreckage and all the debris
always time for everyone, never for me
thanks for all that you leave behind
for making me see that I have been blind

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

RAJ my Valentine

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Valentine (for JPB)

Once I was your Valentine 

and you showered me with love 

You gave me all I needed, 

stars and moon from up above 

You would hold me tightly 

and kiss my fears away 

Our love was all that mattered, 

but that was yesterday 

Now my heart is empty 

you left without a word 

Maybe you tried to tell me 

but I think I would have heard

How do I recover, 

and overcome this loss 

When you were all I wanted 

and on my heart embossed 

I take the feelings left behind, 

still deeply here contained 

And pull them out and look at them 

Like a picture that is framed 

Would you come back if you could 

to be my valentine 

And cherish all that we once had 

Together for all time

flowers and hearts (JPB)

I stood in the doorway
and watched you depart
a special day for most
filled with flowers and hearts
Valentine's day now
doesn't mean a thing
I remember the fourteenth
with the sorrow it brings

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Old Valentines

underneath my bed
all of my past hearts do rest
all except for you

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

just a girl

I was not the lucky one 

to set your heart on fire
dusty days so long ago

that have long since expired
I was not the sweet, sweet dream 

that painted your skies blue
I'm just a girl who long ago 

fell deeply in love with you

I'm not the key that fits the lock

and opens up a door
I did not have the power to

give what was wanted and more
there was just no miracle 

or wishes upon a star
I'm the one in the rearview mirror, 

when you drove off in your car

when you look back and wonder 

if you had gone that way
will you see the promise 

of what you held at bay?
I wasn't close to being the dream

you wanted to come true
I'm just a girl who long ago 

fell deeply in love with you

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Guardian Angel

a guardian Angel

a savior and friend

always there

through thick and thin

watching over

keeping me safe

sometimes disapproval

on her face

my guardian Angel

not made of stone

but light and grace

I'm never alone

sometimes a smile

more often a frown

let me just say

I'm glad you're around

my guardian Angel

always reading

my thought

will I land on my feet?

or will trouble be brought?

guiding my hand

in all that I do

forgiving the blunders

trying to make my path true

from a small girl

to the woman I am

a saint or sinner

still God's lamb

protecting me

in all I do

the celestial light

that surrounds you

Guardian Angel

always stay

from dark of night

through a new day

I need you now

and always will

I need your hope

I need your skill

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

trajectory

My trajectory was perfect 

I was directly in your path 

Still some how you missed me 

What is up with that? 

There is a lot of space out there 

My aim must not be true 

Or you are better at avoiding 

I didn’t see that in you 

Thinking it'd be a dead on hit 

Our worlds would just collide 

With stars and fire crackers 

And all that love provides 

But you put up your force field 

And deflected my advance 

Now I’m spinning off in space 

My solar system crashed 

Spock couldn't have done better 

Scotty can’t beam me up 

My star trek is all over 

I'm not in Kirk's lineup 

It was very clever

A lesson I have learned 

My solar shield is dented 

My ship has crashed and burned 

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

illusions

trajectory...a path that's followed
blazing trails in black and white
hollow is the point that shatters
from the muzzle smoking still

empty...is the heart that wanders
from love to love lost in the night
another day dawns cold and lonely
clouds will block the sun's bright rays

hallowed...was the room we slept in
hot and sweet the love we made
gone are all the songs we sang to
wax formed thickly at the base

once...a memory long ago
now it seems a photo cropped
black and white the minds illusion
of how it was supposed to be

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

dive

I want to 

swan dive, trajectory perfect 

landing right in your center 

I want to 

go deep into your depths 

before I resurface 

I want to trudgen through your mind 

backstroke through you spirit 

breaststroke through your soul 

butterfly through your fantasies 

I want to 

get wet

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

tug-of-war

yesterday tethered to tomorrow 

caught in a tug-of-war 'tween the two 

going back holds nothing but sorrow

my future now a rosier hue 

stuck in mud caused by the storm 

the past corroded from rain 

anticipating your next jump

love factored with all the pain 

the sun shines from behind dark clouds 

a rainbow that arcs across the blue 

he rides on a silver horse 

a hero to bring me through 

dreams of the past may bring it back 

quickly they fade with a new dawn '

till yesterday's face is just a blur 

in the morning when I stretch and yawn

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

merger

a merger of all that we have found
a mixing together making our love sound
so much better than being alone
a passionate blending makes this home

you asked if I am sad today
leaving what was yesterday
all that’s being left behind
a structure from another time

we build together a future chance
sealing tightly this romance
your green thumb that makes me bloom 
the circle starts and ends with you

tick, tock

is it too much for you to bear? 

always looking and finding me here 

is there such a thing as too much love? 

are you afraid it will swallow you up? 

are you unsure? is it me or you? 

do you need a dog like Blue for the clues? 

did I not say it or lay it on the line? 

every single moment, every single time 

did I give too much, or maybe, not enough? 

when you spelled out no, were you calling my bluff?

the clock ticks slowly away all of our hours 

what you could have had when you held the power 

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

the darker side

you discover my deepest secrets

I discover where you hide 

laying in moss and roses

thorns pricking your insides

you could make a difference

I could make one too

just maybe not together

that just won't work for you

down there on the darker side 

down there on the darker side 

everything is different 

one more sweet refrain 

not much ever changes 

in the gloaming of the estranged 

a million empty reasons 

a million one-lined verse

practicing to be perfect 

over and over rehearsed  

down there on the darker side 

down there on the darker side 

not the first time we've been here

as we circle around the end

rest your head upon my breast 

before we lose it again 

we're leaning on each other

at least that's what we pretend 

this time it could be different 

or once more it gets bent

down there on the darker side

down there on the darker side 

I was a whisper on your lips

a kite blowing in your wind 

turn me loose, pull me back 

a game of chance my friend 

it all drops like the curtain 

at the end of the final scene 

no applause, as it once more falls 

and you call out to me 

down there on the darker side 

down there on the darker side 

Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License