Monday, February 26, 2024

wreckage

we mature with the wreckage
not with tears or years
the things our mind tells us
overcoming all fears
forging ever onward
brief stops on our way
that's how we move onward
and get through the days

losing the baggage
maybe keeping one tote
keeping a journal
with all of our notes
maybe some therapy
if that's what you need
to empty the sorrows
on which your heart feeds
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

lines

between rocketing dreams
and the lowest lines
so much is done
not to leave it behind
It's the dragon you feed,
the debt that comes due
was it worth the price
of ownership to you?
Hope slips away
as greed takes its place
it doesn't take long
to fall from His Grace
and when you look back
at your wreckage and ruin
you can't say that you
didn't know what was brewing
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

grace falls short

it really wouldn't have been that hard
now it's tossed like a salad with swiss chard
a bitter taste that is left behind
I think I must've been out of my mind

you, whom I gave the best of care
wreckage created with utmost flair
no over the shoulder, one last look
a very short chapter in a dusty old book

what did you think, how did it feel?
to severe it all with so much zeal
no calls, no letters, not even a text
grace falls short, then disappears
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

thanks

thanks for no calls and the missing text
I never know, when I'll hear from you next
thanks for the heartache and all of the pain
how you make me blue, whenever it rains

thanks for the nightmares, that come in my dreams
apparitions are closer than appearing to be
thanks for the memories, leaving this scar
a crescent moon that glows when it's dark

thanks for the wreckage and all the debris
always time for everyone, never for me
thanks for all that you leave behind
for making me see that I have been blind
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Wednesday, February 14, 2024

RAJ my Valentine



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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Valentine (for JPB)

Once I was your Valentine 
and you showered me with love 
You gave me all I needed, 
stars and moon from up above 

You would hold me tightly 
and kiss my fears away 
Our love was all that mattered, 
but that was yesterday 

Now my heart is empty 
you left without a word 
Maybe you tried to tell me 
but I think I would have heard

How do I recover, 
and overcome this loss 
When you were all I wanted 
and on my heart embossed 

I take the feelings left behind, 
still deeply here contained 
And pull them out and look at them 
Like a picture that is framed 

Would you come back if you could 
to be my valentine 
And cherish all that we once had 
Together for all time

flowers and hearts (JPB)

I stood in the doorway
and watched you depart
a special day for most
filled with flowers and hearts
Valentine's day now
doesn't mean a thing
I remember the fourteenth
with the sorrow it brings
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Old Valentines

underneath my bed
all of my past hearts do rest
all except for you
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Saturday, February 10, 2024

just a girl

I was not the lucky one 
to set your heart on fire
dusty days so long ago
that have long since expired
I was not the sweet, sweet dream 
that painted your skies blue
I'm just a girl who long ago 
fell deeply in love with you

I'm not the key that fits the lock
and opens up a door
I did not have the power to
give what was wanted and more
there was just no miracle 
or wishes upon a star
I'm the one in the rearview mirror, 
when you drove off in your car

when you look back and wonder 
if you had gone that way
will you see the promise 
of what you held at bay?
I wasn't close to being the dream
you wanted to come true
I'm just a girl who long ago 

Guardian Angel

a guardian Angel
a savior and friend
always there
through thick and thin
watching over
keeping me safe
sometimes disapproval
on her face

my guardian Angel
not made of stone
but light and grace
I'm never alone
sometimes a smile
more often a frown
let me just say
I'm glad you're around

my guardian Angel
always reading
my thought
will I land on my feet?
or will trouble be brought?
guiding my hand
in all that I do
forgiving the blunders
trying to make my path true

from a small girl
to the woman I am
a saint or sinner
still God's lamb
protecting me
in all I do
the celestial light
that surrounds you

Guardian Angel
always stay
from dark of night
through a new day
I need you now
and always will
I need your hope
I need your skill
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Friday, February 9, 2024

trajectory

My trajectory was perfect 
I was directly in your path 
Still some how you missed me 
What is up with that? 

There is a lot of space out there 
My aim must not be true 
Or you are better at avoiding 
I didn’t see that in you 

Thinking it'd be a dead on hit 
Our worlds would just collide 
With stars and fire crackers 
And all that love provides 

But you put up your force field 
And deflected my advance 
Now I’m spinning off in space 
My solar system crashed 

Spock couldn't have done better 
Scotty can’t beam me up 
My star trek is all over 
I'm not in Kirk's lineup 

It was very clever
A lesson I have learned 
My solar shield is dented 
My ship has crashed and burned 

illusions

trajectory...a path that's followed
blazing trails in black and white
hollow is the point that shatters
from the muzzle smoking still

empty...is the heart that wanders
from love to love lost in the night
another day dawns cold and lonely
clouds will block the sun's bright rays

hallowed...was the room we slept in
hot and sweet the love we made
gone are all the songs we sang to
wax formed thickly at the base

once...a memory long ago
now it seems a photo cropped
black and white the minds illusion
of how it was supposed to be
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

dive

I want to 
swan dive, trajectory perfect 
landing right in your center 
I want to 
go deep into your depths 
before I resurface 
I want to trudgen through your mind 
backstroke through you spirit 
breaststroke through your soul 
butterfly through your fantasies 
I want to 
get wet

Friday, February 2, 2024

tug-of-war

yesterday tethered to tomorrow 
caught in a tug-of-war 'tween the two 
going back holds nothing but sorrow
my future now a rosier hue 

stuck in mud caused by the storm 
the past corroded from rain 
anticipating your next jump
love factored with all the pain 

the sun shines from behind dark clouds 
a rainbow that arcs across the blue 
he rides on a silver horse 
a hero to bring me through 

dreams of the past may bring it back 
quickly they fade with a new dawn '
till yesterday's face is just a blur 
in the morning when I stretch and yawn

merger

a merger of all that we have found
a mixing together making our love sound
so much better than being alone
a passionate blending makes this home

you asked if I am sad today
leaving what was yesterday
all that’s being left behind
a structure from another time

we build together a future chance
sealing tightly this romance
your green thumb that makes me bloom 
the circle starts and ends with you

tick, tock

is it too much for you to bear? 
always looking and finding me here 
is there such a thing as too much love? 
are you afraid it will swallow you up? 

are you unsure? is it me or you? 
do you need a dog like Blue for the clues? 
did I not say it or lay it on the line? 
every single moment, every single time 

did I give too much, or maybe, not enough? 
when you spelled out no, were you calling my bluff?
the clock ticks slowly away all of our hours 
what you could have had when you held the power 

Thursday, February 1, 2024

the darker side

you discover my deepest secrets
I discover where you hide 
laying in moss and roses
thorns pricking your insides
you could make a difference
I could make one too
just maybe not together
that just won't work for you
down there on the darker side 
down there on the darker side 

everything is different 
one more sweet refrain 
not much ever changes 
in the gloaming of the estranged 
a million empty reasons 
a million one-lined verse
practicing to be perfect 
over and over rehearsed  
down there on the darker side 
down there on the darker side 

not the first time we've been here
as we circle around the end
rest your head upon my breast 
before we lose it again 
we're leaning on each other
at least that's what we pretend 
this time it could be different 
or once more it gets bent
down there on the darker side
down there on the darker side 

I was a whisper on your lips
a kite blowing in your wind 
turn me loose, pull me back 
a game of chance my friend 
it all drops like the curtain 
at the end of the final scene 
no applause, as it once more falls 
and you call out to me 
down there on the darker side 
down there on the darker side 

secrets

I'll claim that piece 
where secrets roam 
that hidden part
that mirrors my own
a slice of pleasure 
a dance of desire 
it's you and me baby 
an infernal fire

blogger

when I needed to sort things out
I headed for the border
told my secrets to the sea
and put my thoughts in order
wrote my poems and spilled my life
across the blogger pages
typed the words that told the tale
of what hadn't worked for ages
it always seemed to calm me down
and gave a new perspective
when I drove back home again
the work was ineffective
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Tuesday, January 16, 2024

all along

in the light of this new day
where dreams of yesterday
fade softly away
past is the doubt
the hapless thoughts
sealed with tape
the oblong  box

hidden deep are the old scars
packed inside a chambered heart
no room for all of those old things
never were they what they seemed
learning from the same mistakes
waiting longer
growing stronger
bandaged by your love

why would I ever want to look back?
when I was not on the right track
with one headlight I drove away
Jakob’s words in my mind played
over and over I played your song
and still I knew it all along

Pandora's Box

you opened your eyes 
but closed your mind 
oblivious to dreams
I kept inside 
you saw the package 
but not the treasure 
all of those late nights 
we were together 

you spent the passion 
but saved your heart 
keeping those two things 
far, far apart 
nothing ever ventured,
 nothing ever gained 
so good at keeping
it all self-contained 

you pulled the ribbon 
on Pandora's box 
you twisted the key 
in a rusty lock 
you wound the toy 
just a little too tight 
leaving in haste 
before the dawn's light 

I thought I had it 
under control 
I could play the game 
and you'd never know 
you were much smarter 
than I had first thought 
you saw the ruse 
right from the start 

gently, you tried 
to let me down 
distancing me 
with silent sounds 
what you couldn't see--
failed to understand
 I knew your game 
but couldn't outrun your plan 

you pulled the ribbon 
on Pandora's box
you twisted the key 
in a rusty lock 
you wound the toy 
just a little too tight 
leaving in haste 
before the dawn's light 

I could see your future 
but not play a part 
you weren't really honest;
that wasn't our start
I knew there was another, 
but not the connection 
you had already promised 
your love and affection 

so as we go forward 
with an uneasy truce 
bury what's dead 
between me and you
no tourniquet will stop 
my bleed you'll agree
you didn't promise 
to be what I need

you asked me once
if the wound was still deep 
you can figure that out 
in this song if you read 
what starts with white lies, 
ends sadly with truth
it ebbs and then flows 
with each phase of the moon 

you pulled the ribbon 
on Pandora's box 
you twisted the key 
in a rusty lock 
you wound the toy 
just a little too tight 
leaving in haste 
before the dawn's light 

child

I didn't ask for a pedestal
that's too far to fall
I didn't ask to move mountains
or for anything at all
from the day that you were born
right up to this new hour
I've always done my best
so, you'd know you were loved

I know that I'm not perfect
though you wanted me to be
I know I've made mistakes
and that's all you can see
what a parent does for a child
those things I did for you
I did them from my heart
you know that this is true

I know I didn't deserve
all the hurtful things you said
maybe look inside
at the good things there instead
the special bond we have
the umbilical never cut
it will never wear out
or could ever be used up

I didn't ask for a pedestal
that's too far to fall
I didn't ask to move mountains
or for anything at all
from the day that you were born
right up to this new hour
I've never put conditions
on any part of my love
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Thursday, January 11, 2024

phases

the moon moves through its phases
nonchalant and slow 
each one pulls upon me 
like the tide washing on my shore 
when I think the cleanse has come
from the salty brine 
the crescent comes 
and shines its face 
with the memories that remind

laying on the sandy beach 
starring at the stars 
wondering how I landed here 
my heart on a sandbar
the bottle that I corked and threw 
into this vast green sea 
drifts out for just a little while 
then always returns to me

walk away

I walk away from yesterday
turn my back on all that's gray
the guitar that strums increasing pain
standing in the pouring rain
what seems priceless has a cost
what I have gained, what I have lost

against the tide I'm about to go under
the current strong I fight lost wonder
dolphins swimming all around
consuming tides don't save me now
I float but I just can't swim free
from all the pain encompassing me

I felt the breeze and heard the thunder
the lightning flash so close I shudder
everything that I once held true
all begins and ends with you
like sand drips through the hour glass
what will stay strong and what won't last

the moon drifts quickly through all of its phases
shining on all of the unseen places
resurrecting dreams that grew
unforeseen from what I knew
sandcastles hidden in the fog
reminiscent of what went wrong
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Poetry by M.J.B. is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

Monday, January 8, 2024

devil's disciple

in the final analysis 
where the sun meets the horizon 
behind the mountains looming 
and saguaro with their wisdom 
the breeze kicks up the dust 
making an eerie funnel
and the roaring in your ears 
sounds like you're in a tunnel 

you didn't keep a list 
with columns for right or wrong 
you didn't weigh the options 
or think about it too long
another devil's disciple 
with a backpack on the ground
grabbing hold of both straps  
you drag it all around 

you didn't apologize 
for the person you became
to those you left behind
all pawns in a bigger game 
with hope in your left hand 
and freedom in your right 
you're rushing towards your future 
on the darkest of all nights 

I gave you all I could
it never counted for much 
words I offered to encourage
that didn't become your crutch 
the hanging judge bangs his gavel 
and sends you out this day 
with a candle for forgiveness
but no match to light your way